* Why do we seek happiness in the future? * Happiness is not outside of us * Embracing the present moment *
Who wouldn't want to be happy? The unclouded peace and tranquillity, the ecstasy of happiness, when everything seems to be shining, our hearts are singing, we are in love with the whole world. But most of the time we don't have that. We yearn for happiness; we thirst for it and we think of it as a state to be achieved somewhere in the future. "I will be happy when I manage to achieve this or that dream". "I will be happy when I am rich and have no financial problems". "If everyone loves me according to my expectations, I will be happy" - these are the goals that stand in the way of happiness.
You set yourself a goal and think: "When I reach that goal, I will be completely happy". You strive, you push, you do your best to achieve it; and when you finally arrive, after a lot of painful, soul-destroying suffering, you finally reach the goal, you are happy for a short while: "I have succeeded! I have done it at last! I have reached it".
You are happy, you let yourself go into the bliss of the experience of success. You notice the sparkling sunshine, you hear the birds chirping, you rejoice in the dazzling beauty of the countless flowers, you are completely absorbed in the beauty of existence. "Oh, how wonderful everything is now!" But this exhilaration doesn't last long. A thought occurs to you: "Oh, can't this all go wrong? One day this joy will end...I wonder what will happen when...? " - and the machinery of the mind starts up again. You ponder, fear or yearn to achieve new goals. Then the ecstasy has faded, and you are back in the state of suffering.
We are always looking for happiness in the future. We cherish dreams, we make plans, and we think that when external circumstances come into being, we will be completely happy. We dream of happiness while inside we suffer terribly. The source of our happiness is in the future, but we are now, we have not yet reached it, and there is an unresolvable tension between the dream of the future and the present moment. You don't have what you want now, you want to get where you want to be now, but only the future can give you that. You cannot fly into that future moment now, and this creates dissatisfaction within you. Your mind is discontented, and in the form of a little voice rumbling in your head, it sulks, fears, dreads, makes you unhappy. So will never be fully happy.
When we achieve a goal, accomplish something, or life circumstances support our ideas, we can enjoy a brief moment of success that soon passes as we set new goals - to be achieved in the future.
Happiness is within us. It is our fundamental nature and is not dependent on external circumstances. The source of happiness lies within us, because if it did not lie within us, we could not be happy, even if we had success. We cannot seek it outside ourselves, we cannot attach conditions to it, because if we do, we will spend most of our lives in suffering while we seek the happiness that lies within us. We are looking for what we already are.
We hide the happiness we have now with heavy thoughts. You will notice that you feel happy, joyful, when you are fully in the present moment, in the now. When you give yourself up to a game, a walk in the woods, and enjoy the fullness of the moment: the trees, the flowers, the sunshine, the birds chirping. But the mind, suffering from the curse of chronic obsessive thinking, cannot tolerate mindfulness, thoughtlessness, and as soon as it notices that you are enjoying the beauty of life, it immediately flies you into the past to ruminate on the hurdles of your memories, or into the distant future where everything is uncertain and therefore terrifying.
In fact, there is only the infinite, eternal moment of now. You chew over the memories of the past in the now, you make your plans for the future in the now. There is nothing but an eternal now moment, but with our memories and ideas - our thoughts - we create personal time. You must understand: everything is now. There is only the present moment and everything that exists is now.
Now is the only reality that exists. The past is only a dead memory, the future only an idea. When something happened in the past, it was now, and the future only becomes reality when it happens now. The only reality that unfolds is now. And yet we spend far more time in our "heads", ruminating on the past and planning for the future than we do in the present. We seem to be here and now in our bodies, but this is only an illusion: most of the time we live in our memories and imaginations, without even feeling our presence, without inhabiting our bodies.
We are now, while our minds want to live in a brighter future. The now moment is never good enough, but we long for an imagined future that is better than now. We are at war with the present, the now, we cannot accept it as it is. Yet it is only this now that we have been given; and it is in this now that our thoughts and actions unfold, shaping the future we long for. But what kind of future is it that we weave with heavy thoughts and fears, and our actions arise from the fears of those thoughts? What kind of future (which never arrives, because it is always now) if we never live in the only reality that exists, in which everything is. If we hope for a better future, we are not embracing the present. We are at war with the present moment, we do not accept it as it is - and this is the source of our suffering.
Since the only reality is the now, it is foolish to be at war with it. Since the only time that exists is now, it is worth embracing the present. You may be discontented in your mind, you may wish for a brighter, more beautiful future and you know that you have a lot more to do to achieve it.
Reality is now: it is what you can embrace: not the dead past and not the imagined future. You can only embrace the present. When you move from the present to an imagined future, you declare war on reality (which is now), you declare war on the Universe and you are at war with yourself. It is no wonder that your thoughts and actions now project an even more unhappy future.
All you can do is embrace the present, the now. You may be living in miserable circumstances, a situation you would not wish on your enemy. Can you get out of this miserable situation now? If you cannot accept the situation, then get out of it. If you cannot exit, then at least accept that it is what it is and surrender fully to conscious experience.
When you embrace the present, you cease to struggle with yourself and the world: you feel a deep inner peace and calm in which your experience of the world is fresh, not weighed down by memories, labels, prejudices. When you let go of compulsive brooding and imagining and let yourself into the present moment, you realize that you cannot be unhappy. When you live in the now, in the fullness of the moment, you have no problems. What you do have are challenges, challenges that have a solution in them. The best you can do is to embrace the present moment fully. You are listening to everything that is unfolding - alert, allowing, receptive, aware. And as you are in this receptive, present state of being, whatever you do is a great joy to you.
If you are so imprisoned by your mind, by your racing thoughts and overwhelming emotions, that you are unable to surrender to the pleasure of being carefree, I suggest you seek the opportunity to relax. If you can, go for a walk in a beautiful natural place. Take a walk along a riverbank or in a forest and let yourself experience the wonder of nature. You can calm your thoughts by gently scanning your surroundings with your attention. Notice how many wonderful shades of green the plants have. Listen to the birds chirping and trilling, observe the gentle flow of a river. Immerse yourself in the beauty of nature - let yourself go! Notice how graceful, how soft, how flowing, how wonderful living things are – they are living, being, existing, just like you. The beauty and wonder of life are celebrated by the singing birds, the trees rustling and swaying in the wind, the wildflowers in the fields: they are not thinking, not pondering, but majestically flourishing, living in the infinity of now.
As you immerse yourself in this wonder, your worries, your thoughts, will subside, they will cease to hold you captive and you will open up to the experience of presence with wonder. Contemplate with a smile, because when you smile, you open up, the muscles in your head relax, you feel good, you embrace the fullness of the present. Smile whether you have a reason to smile or not - because when you smile, life smiles back at you. You become welcoming, light, flowing and you live, you thrive in the present moment.
As you do this more and more, you will become more and more in the habit of embracing the present fully. You will experience a deep peace, a calm, a true sense of being: happiness.
Deep within yourself, you understand that you are the embodiment of happiness. The source of your happiness is within you! Smile and enjoy the nectar of happiness!
Excerpt from the book "The Mysteries of Consciousness” by Ervin Kery